Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge Review

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge

So… What on Earth is this? Tekken 2 is no more a Tekken film than I’m a chicken. Beyond three character names and two returning actors it’s clearly another script they just slapped “Tekken 2” on top of. Hell, Kazuya doesn’t even get his revenge in the film, mostly because it’s a prequel rather than a sequel! Even in the confines of what happens to him in this film his revenge goes unfulfilled. Is there any point in mentioning the game series in this post? I felt stupid reviewing Tekken 7 alongside this… Well, ignoring all that, is this clearly stand-alone non-Tekken film worth watching anyway? Let’s see…

Synopsis:

A man with no recollection of his past wakes up in an apartment in a district outside Tekken City before he is chased by armed men and nabbed by a female assassin. He is brought to a crazy religious cult led by someone only known as “The Minister”, who gives him the letter “K” as his codename and has an explosive surgically implanted in his chest that should he fail his mission or attempt to leave the organization he would detonate…

*spoilers appear from here on out!*

The Good:

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge 2

All things being fair, some of the fighting is perfectly…. Fine.

Ignoring the frankly damn near lying marketing for this film and looking at it as a low-budget martial arts action film then it’s perfectly fine. Go in with those low expectations (because trust me, nobody is acting well here. A few are okay, but most are… well, suited for such a low-budget movie, let’s put it that way) and you can shut your brain off for an hour and a half and it will pass the time quite harmlessly. The fighting is good, well choreographed and quite brutal in places without going too gory with it. It’s a perfectly serviceable low-tier movie, apart from the fact it’s called “Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge” …

Hell, even the plot isn’t bad, until it gets to the end anyway. It’s riddled with clichés like a lead with no memory who can instinctively fight, a crazy religious cult leader to take down, a love interest and a bad ass heroine to go alongside her. Again, ignoring the title and the last 10 minutes and it would be perfectly good time waster if you’re into this genre…

The Bad:

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge 4

It’s my favourite Tekken character: Jake Roberts!

So the way they’ve worked Tekken into what I’m still convinced was another film is that the amnesiac fighter who becomes an assassin for the weird cult is a young Kazuya (Kane Kosugi) who had his memory wiped by his father Heihachi (still Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) in order to teach him to become tougher, apparently. I guess it’s the film version of the original throwing Kazuya off the cliff scene from the games (though that was later retconned into being because he carried the devil gene, but hey-ho) So at the very end Kazuya meets Heihachi, who then snogs and kills his love interest Laura (Paige Lindquist) and then … leaves. The final fight is, and I kid you not, Kazuya vs. two completely random men who don’t even say a single line and appear just for that very end scene. Afterwards Kazuya meets back up with Rhona Anders (Kelly Wenham), a female assassin who escaped the same crazy cult as he did, and the two walk off to stop Heihachi’s schemes… which makes no sense, in the original Tekken film Kazuya is loyally working under his father, only grumpy about not getting to take over the company yet. So even as a prequel to Tekken it doesn’t work. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS FILM?

Towards the middle of the film one of Kazuya and Rhona’s targets turns out to be Bryan Fury (still played by Gary Daniels), who after a brief fight gets away, returns to give a little speech, then leaves again. That’s it for Tekken characters in the whole film, and neither Kazuya, Heihachi or Bryan Fury particularly resemble their characters any more (though I guess as this was supposed to be a prequel, it makes sense?) Partially credit for Heihachi having the large wooden sandals for one scene. That’s it.

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge 1

A screenshot of the “epic” final fight…

The actual cult in question (which is never officially named) is generic as all hell, but the only real negatives are firstly that “The Minister” (Rade Šerbedžija) was hard to understand sometimes, very mumbly and generally not very good even for such a low-budget film, which could be because English isn’t his natural language, I don’t know. The second negative is that he is flanked by three female assassins, the aforementioned Rhona, who quits alongside Kazuya, Chloe (Charlotte Kirk), a crazy girl in a schoolgirl outfit (because why not?) and Natasha (Biljana Misic) and this is all focused on throughout the first half of the film but amounts to nothing. Just before Kazuya confronts his father at the end of the film Rhona kills The Minister with little fanfare, then as he’s confronting Heihachi Rhona kills Chloe and Natasha with one quick motion each and zero effort or danger.

This is why I think it was another script adapted to “fit” Tekken. I can imagine the actual ending was “fighter with memory loss confronts The Minster and then has to fight his two remaining bodyguards / assassins as the Minister escapes”. Instead we got Rhona offs all the cult members with no effort and Kazuya confronting his father and then having to face two complete randoms. Yay? … No.

Overall Thoughts:

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge 3

The fact he has a goatee is about the only connection to the original Tekken film’s Kazuya he has…

If Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge had a different title and a different ending it would be a perfectly fine low-budget martial arts action film. Nothing will blow you away, but it’s perfectly inoffensive for its hour and half. Sadly, the name is misleading and the ending poorly tacked on, and to make matters worse it doesn’t even work as a prequel to the first film anyway! If you’re looking for game adaptations, you can safely skip this, frankly…

2 Star Watch

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s