Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Review

Prince of Persia The Sands of Time

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve just watched four average-to-awful fighting game-based movies in a row or what, but I enjoyed Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I mean, the script might not win any originality awards, but it was still an entertaining two hours of adventure that actually uses some imagery and ideas from the game it was based on (that I’ve seen a lot about, but never actually played, hence why I reviewed the original game alongside this instead…) Is it good enough to actually recommend though? Let’s find out!

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Tekken 2: Kazuya’s Revenge Review

Tekken 2 Kazuyas Revenge

So… What on Earth is this? Tekken 2 is no more a Tekken film than I’m a chicken. Beyond three character names and two returning actors it’s clearly another script they just slapped “Tekken 2” on top of. Hell, Kazuya doesn’t even get his revenge in the film, mostly because it’s a prequel rather than a sequel! Even in the confines of what happens to him in this film his revenge goes unfulfilled. Is there any point in mentioning the game series in this post? I felt stupid reviewing Tekken 7 alongside this… Well, ignoring all that, is this clearly stand-alone non-Tekken film worth watching anyway? Let’s see…

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Tekken Review

Tekken film

Tekken is an odd film. On the one hand great effort was made to make the cast look like the characters from the game (with the exception of the Jacks, anyway…) and unlike our previous film the tournament actually takes place on Earth, which is nice, but then on the other hand it’s literally Tekken crossed with Hunger Games, which isn’t exactly in the spirit of the source material! Does it still work? Let’s find out!

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Alien III (Audio Drama) Review

Alien III

It’s funny that I ended up getting a couple more free Audible downloads and so finally decided to give this a go, an audio drama performance of a “lost” script for an original Alien III film by William Gibson, at the same time I’m covering the Doctor Who lost stories range. I’m one of those people who doesn’t particularly like Alien3, as mentioned in my review of the film from a few years ago, so when I heard of this project I was interested to hear “what could’ve been”. Turns out Alien III is as much of a mish-mash mess as Alien3, just in a different way…

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The King of Fighters Review

The King of Fighters

Okay… so you know when I talked last time about Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li messed about with the source material a bit too much? Well… THAT, but to a far, far greater degree is how you can describe this. Why did I even bother reviewing KOF ’94, in hindsight? Oh well, I’ll say this much: at least the actual fighting was, for the most part, well done, which is something it has over the previous effort. Let’s take a closer look then…

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The Old Guard Review

The Old Guard

I’ll be honest here and say this film came out of nowhere for me. I’d never heard of the comic, and honestly hadn’t heard of the film until about a week and a half ago when I saw the coming soon trailer. All that being said, I stuck it on the TV on Saturday and really enjoyed it! It follows a group of immortals and covers all the entertaining ground you can with the concept, from the horrors of out-living everyone, to the fear of being locked away forever… and more! So let’s take a look then…

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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li Review

Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li

I went into Legend of Chun-Li with trepidation. I knew it had a bad reputation (as nearly all these films do!) but at the same time I thought “Well, I’m sure it at least has some decent fight scenes to pass the time…” Somehow I was even wrong on that account. Unlike the games that inspired it, this film is devoid of interesting characters and exciting fighting. In other words… *sigh*. Let’s take a look at the first of four fighting game adaptation films in a row!

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Max Payne Review

Max Payne Film

Within the first few minutes of this film you start to think “Oh, hang on, they’ve nailed the look and feel of the game at least!” and then it all goes away. Well, actually, the look is the one good thing that stays consistent, but everything else vanishes into an ether of dullness. …Hooray! Let’s take a look at yet another film that had a really good base to go on, but decided not to use it…

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Hitman (2007) Review

Hitman 2007

So a game about a deadly hitman working for a shadowy company should be pretty easy to adapt, right? No need for fantasy elements or big sci-fi set pieces, just a simple thriller, right? Well, that’s right! … Sadly, the emphasis was very much on the simple, and less on the thriller. Yes, for a film titled “Hitman” it very quickly became “generic action movie anti-hero loudly gunning people down in broad daylight”. Still, is it worth a look?

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DOA: Dead or Alive Review

DOA Dead or Alive

I went into this film knowing its reputation, hell the posters and DVD/Blu-Ray covers show you what the main “draw” of the film was, but man… it’s pretty awful. I mean by the time this film was released, DOA the game series’ reputation was breast jiggling physics and a volley ball game spin-off, so in reality this film probably did the franchise more justice than a lot of these adaptations, but it was so hard to get through due to the sheer amount of cringe. Let’s get it out of the way and never talk about it again, shall we?

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